A gorgeous French princess, the enchanted beauty, Christine went on a journey seeking fabulous things. Her flying chariot carried her & her exotic prince to LA on their quest... ... There they stumbled across the illustrious Punk Kouture working in a hovel of a shop on Melrose under the evil spell of the notorious witch, Cosmalina.... The rather large, voluptuous beauty carried much weight & power in the land of Melrose & had Punk Kouture, caged in the corner, slaving away for a pittance...
The grandmother of Princess Christine, the Grand Dutchess of Dumont, wasthrowing a luxurious royal ball at the Chateau Dumont on a smaller island in France.... All the lords & ladies, counts & countesses, diplomats & dukes would be attending this ball... Realizing PK amazing talent & potential, Princess Christine commissioned him to work his magic & transform her & make her dreams come true.... To take this already fairest in the land, & magnify her beauty, beyond belief... Watch here as her gown unfolds & the magic takes place.... Walk with us through this creation process....
Chapter 2.....
Late in the third day, in Punk Kouture's Mailibu Beach House, a telegram arrives from the Dutchess Of Dumont, stating that the Royal Pearls would be arriving shortly. These illustrios pearls, were family heirlooms dating back... to the early 1800's, owned by none other than Marie Antionette herself at one time. This dawns a new direction in Punk Kouture's creation... He dreams of their startegic placing in the princess' gown. Upon their arrival, Punk Kouture tears into the box and pulls out the black felt box bearing the royal family crest.... He examines and then bites into the pearls to validate their authenticity... extatically he squeals because they are his new inspiration and he rushes to his workstation to get started on the next level.... on the way there though, he pauses in his bediore mirror to see how FABULOUS they looked on him..... to be continued.....
Chapter 3...
Punk Kouture rises late that morning and glances at the gown & gasps. Feeling envious that he can't wear it. He goes to the great Book of Face to check his correspondences and finds an alarming message from the wicked great gran...dmother of Cosmalima, Ellatrocia, the Mad Witch Of Hair. A scheming plot to steal the gown has been set in motion. Punk Kouture's empire went into high alert.
Moving forward, Punk Kouture sends his most trusted ally, Sir Andrew, to fetch the much needed frost diamonds found only in the highest peaks of the Tibetan mountains. The diamonds are guarded by horrible trolls, servants of the evil Ellatrocia. Knowing Andrew will be victorious in that endeavor, Punk Kouture sets on the next task at hand...
Chapter 4...
Sir Andrew scaled down deep in the dirty stinky filthy caves of The Evil Ellatrocia’s mountains in search of the rare diamonds, ever so carefully, as the trolls were taking their afternoon siesta’s. Next to one of the ugliest trol...ls ever named “KenDra” Sir Andrew spotted a fair maiden in a cage. “Oh wait”, he gasps “it is isn’t a fair maiden its Punk Kouture’s long lost housekeeper, Rosa”. Andrew says “shhhhhhh….. Rosa I’ll have you out of here in a jiffy. You’ll be back to scrubbing floors ‘House of Kouture’ in no time”.
Sir Andrew and Rosa went even deeper into Ellatrocia’s musty fishy cavern and glistening in the distance they spot A mound diamonds sparkling and beckoning them. Quickly they scoop them up and stuff them quickly into their Louis Vuitton “New Age Traveler Bag” and off they go back to the “House Kouture” with their priceless loot. Sir Andrew and Rosa offer their findings to Punk Kouture at his beach house in Malibu where he is having a devine high tea with Betsey Johnson and Queen Sir Elton John. Rosa is so excited to be back home she grabs her broom and begins sweeping the beach “ damn this sand is so sandy”, she exclaims.
Punk rushes to his studio, on the way to there an very large and menacing bat swoops down and nicks the talented Punk Kouture in the forhead, Punk squeals, “Eeeeeeek” as he hates large bugs, he swings the Louis Vuitton bag filled will Ellatrocia’s rare diamonds to squash that pesky as flat as the Witch Cosmalina’s fashion sense, when suddenly the bat screams “No Punk!” I’ve been summoned here to bring you a vital message from the ‘Stunning and Glamorous Queen of the Night’, Mistress Riga Mortess.
PunkKouture rose early this morning as he tossed and turned all night, because he had terrible nightmares of the gown being stolen from those awful trolls that took his poor Rosa away. As he dashes downstairs he knocks into Rosa as she is c...arrying PunkKoutre PG Tips tea and toast and strawberry preserves made by the Dutchess of Domont PunkKouture makes Rosa clean up her mess before they head downstairs to the vault, where the gown is guarded by three hunky Chippendale Dancers, who occasionally visit PunkKouture in his bed. PunkKouture glides around the Chippendale Dancers in his black shear lingerie stops! and sighs in relief, that the gown is safe
Chapter 5...
Shortly after high tea, the security alarm goes off.... Springing into action, Sir Andrew foils a robbery attempt by Foremost Famous, Celebrity Singer, Liz Primo. She had snuck past security dressed as a gardner, driving the law...nmower. Upon capture she breaks down & cries... "I just had to have it, it's way too
Chapter 6....
In light of this attack, Punk Kouture, beckons for his Countess of Security. Riga Mortisse... "We must tighten security, send me your best security vampire fledglings to guard the gown @ night"... Trusting no one else to this arduous task, Riga takes off to Punk Koutures Malibe Estate. She arrives in a coffin carriage driven by six mighty midnight black stallions....
Punk Kouture greets Riga Moortess in his Malibu Estate's reception chambers... There his private chef Gorden Ramsey serves Riga's favorite horderves, blood sausage, rats eyes on toast, human pate and a scrumptious mound of vari......cose veins... After the feast, Punk Kouture insists on getting down to business. Riga provides a list of security breach suspects... Shockingly, on that list was Rosa's sometimes secret lover Kelly the Gardner. Kelly was reported seen sneaking clothes to superstar singer Liz Primo. Riga summons him to her side. Salivating over the prospect of another snack, Riga skips interrogation & drains him dry setting an example for any that would dare threaten the gown.
Satisfactorily eliminating the last breach of security within the estate, Riga turns her attention on the main objective, eliminating the threat of Ellatrocia once & for all....
Chapter 7...
Meanwhile, back at Punk Kouture's Malibu Estate...
A majestic white horse appears to be off in the distance carrying a gorgeous prince.... After a moment, if was soon realized that it wasn't that far away, it was just a miniature Sheffield ...Pony, carrying the even mini-er Prince Gilbalisious. The stunningly beautiful prince stood only 3 ft tall and had the most amazing chiseled features. Punk ran out on the balcony to see the prince dismount... He quickly ran through his room, shoving aside the Chippendale dancers that were still lingering at his bed side & threw on his midnight black, see through negligee.
He met the stunning prince at the door and their eyes met."I have come with a request" the prince says... Punk Kouture, taken by the princes magnificence, says, "A man of your stature and beauty can have anything he wants (as he coyly breezes his negligee open). "I am here to free the beautiful superstar singer Liz Primo." Still slightly annoyed with Liz's robbery attempt, Punk says, "Oh HER, I doubt you'll still want her, she's been locked in that cage with the troll, for over a week and we havent even fed her"... Punk escorts the exuberant prince down to the cage noticing that although the prince exudes royalty & glamour, he doesn't even hold a candle to himself, especially in his spectacular little nighty... They get to the cage and open the door.... A globule mess of goo comes waddling out. Wiping some of the goo off her face, Liz smiles of relief, finally getting out of the cage. They take her upstairs & lead her to a much needed shower. After about two hours of removing the goo in a high powered, steamy shower, she joins them on the terrace for high tea... Both Punk and Gilbalisious drop their scones and stare in amazement... Liz Primo looked even more amazing than ever. Her skin was tighter, her hair fuller, more luxurious & her bosom had grown three times the size..... AND SHE WAS 6 MONTHS PREGNANT!!! She told her tale of what happened, "Without food, I had to live off of the trolls bogies. Unknown to most of the land, troll bogies have magical healing and rejuvenating properties." They stared at her shocked!!! She was younger and even more beautiful than ever... & about the pregnancy, she said, "What else were we supposed to do locked up for over a week?!?!" Troll babies grow faster so Liz would probably give birth in a few days hence her looking almost six months after only a week. Prince Gilbalisious, disregarding the gruesome details of her tale of survival and takes her into his arms and says,"I don't care who's baby it is, I will love you both!!!" Punk, almost sickened by syrupy sweetness of the prince's words, throws up a little in his own mouth but politely escorts them up to the courtyard where the Shetland Pony was tied up. He bid them farewell, holding back the laughter from the sight of the 3ft prince, trying to help 5'6" Liz Primo onto his mini pony. Politely Liz sat on the pony even though she could have easily stood and walked straddled over the pony. The new happy couple bid Punk Kouture farewell and rode into the sunset, probably to live happily ever after. Punk waited a moment as they rode away. A tear came to his eye, happy for them.... "Enough of this sentimentality, I have work to do!!!" Dramatically he twirls, flaring out his negligee and retires to his work space to begin the final stages of the royal gown...
 |
"MOMMIE" |
Punk Kouture, was in his boudoir tinting his eyelashes when Sir Andrew runs in excitedly.... "There is a stunningly hot Stallion, riding a winged one outside!!! I think it's for you.".... Exasperated, Punk sighs, "Of course it's... for me, darling, who else would it be for?!?" Donning his illustrious black negligee & Doc Martins, they flow together down the grand staircase out to the courtyard.
A god like messenger dismounts his winged horse & bows to Punk Kouture. "I have a message from your sister, The Baroness of Bare Men, The Queen of Queen Divas, The Banging, Bodacious Beauty, Chi Chi LaRue"
The message reads, "Enough going on about that gorgeous little princess of yours, now it's all about me... What gown have you made for me to wear to tonight's ball?" Punk walks to his private closet vault, where breath-taking gowns for Chi Chi have already been made.... "I'm always prepared for my sister, it's a pleasure to design for her and I've always been intimidated by her immense beauty & power." He reaches in & grabs A Sinfully Divine Emerald Encrusted Bodice with Matching Royal Caterpillar Spun Silk Train. "She will look breath taking in this!!! & make sure she gets the jewels I pick up for her from Liz Taylor's Estate"
As the winged stallion flies off, a great dragon comes in for a landing. The amazing beast is wearing a pink feather boa with matching toenails.... It magically transforms into the sultry, vivacious, Puerto Rican drag queen, Lou Lou Bloom, Rosa's half step sister... "Darling I have arrived... Let's get you ready for Chi Chi's ball" Punk sighs in relief knowing that his favorite makeup artist, hairstylist & confidant was there.... "I'm gonna shut it down tonight..."
